It’s a sign that what I’m doing is still worth something to me. It’s a sign that I’m following my heart more than my head; a sign that I’m fully immersing myself in what I’m doing. So, it’s beginning to make me reflect on some of the things in my life where I’m NOT enthusiastic, and asking myself the important question: is it time to change my habits?
If I look at my writing output over the past few years, it’s been little, hesitant, reluctant. Confidence has ebbed in my own ability, which hasn’t changed itself, only my mind thinks thoughts that give me the self-doubt. So my enthusiasm wavers, and I wonder what is the point of writing, of posting blogs like this one, of finishing off my book projects (about 12 at last count!) and of doing something different.
Then I look further into the cause of enthusiasm, and it’s an emotion of joy, of passion and it’s completely of the moment. It fits in with my mindful life-style these days, a love based emotion, not constrained by thoughts of doubt, or what other people think, or want me to do. This is my life, my enthusiasm, my passion.
So I come to a better place with my writing, all of a sudden. I come to a place where I just write, because I enjoy it, because I like telling stories, because I’m enthusiastic about creating something. It matters not one jot what other people think, or what people want me to write about, or that people think I’m good, or bad, or that I think I’m good, or bad, it just IS. It’s just writing for the sake of writing.
Now there’s a well of ideas bubbling underneath my surface, just waiting to be unleashed. Twelve book projects suddenly seems quite achievable, and not the end. I’m pondering over old maps, and thinking about adding more imagery to my books, and really making the places in my novels come alive. My writing is clambering up the slope, ready to emerge. I’m going to hug it, love it and become passionate about it. I feel my enthusiasm will bubble over so that other people will become enthused by it too – so that’s an exciting bonus!
Beyond the writing is that rich tapestry that I call my life, and I sense great changes coming for me. I’m going to use enthusiasm as a roadmap, to plan my path. It’ll mean the end of some things in my life, but that’s all to the good. Things come and go all the time. So long as I remain enthused about things, I will not falter, or succumb to my own fears. I can map and change my own life. So now’s the time (there isn’t any other time after all).